Truth series: Are you really, okay?
This is a question that so many people are afraid to answer. If someone has ever asked you this question “are you really, okay?” then I have a question to ask you “are you really, okay?”
This question “are you really, okay? is a sickening reminder. It is a reminder that you are exhibiting certain features that signifies that you are not really fine.
If someone has ever asked you this question, are you really okay, it probably means that they have noticed something unusual.
No one will just walk up to you and ask you this question without a prior question.
For example, let’s say you are sitting alone at the bar slowly sipping your drink.
Then someone works up to you and begins a conversation. After your first or second response, the person might pick up on your mood and ask if you are fine.
Of course, the normal and regular answer is I’m fine. However, if the person is a little bit persistent, there comes the second question. Are you really, okay?
Most times we subconsciously ask ourselves this question without even realizing it.
Have you ever stood in front of your mirror while saying “I’m okay or I’m fine” consistently?
What are you trying to achieve here?
It’s quite simple, you are subconsciously asking yourself the “are you really okay question”.
It’s not a rhetorical question.
The next time you ask yourself the question. I think it is better that you truthfully answer the question rather than using the regular “I’m fine” line.
Depression and other negative social vices are on the increase today. The new trend is hashtag toxic positivity.
There is probably no hashtag like that on the Internet. However, the fake smiles behind designer clothes and luxury lifestyles are synonymous with toxic positivity.
Why does the question are you really okay arise?
You are probably wondering why people keep asking you this question.
Or perhaps why you keep asking yourself this presumes rhetorical question that doesn’t seem to have an answer.
Let’s look at 5 reasons why people keep asking you this question and 4 reasons why you are asking yourself the same question.
- Physical appearance
There is a popular saying “dress the way you want to be addressed”.
I’m sorry to say this but if you look shabby, unkempt, and disoriented, people will definitely ask questions.
Most people will ask you, are you okay, is everything alright, and others. However, the curious ones will not take a simple okay for an answer.
They will press further to find out what is wrong.
After your reply, they will respond with are you sure? Are you really okay and other questions that will keep you talking?
I’m not advising you to hide under clothes and makeup. I’m simply trying to make you understand that a bad physical appearance is not a solution for anything.
It will attract attention from both the people that love you and those that just want another juicy gossip.
- A sudden switch in mood
If you have a clique of friends or colleagues that you normally hang out with, I’m sure they can tell when your mood suddenly deflates. It is a known fact that so many people are oblivious however, there are also observant people.
If you were chatting happily, laughing heartily, or probably making fun of your friend, and suddenly, you go quiet, the light in your eyes fades and you just sit back and watch without any comments.
Your friends will definitely notice and this will lead to series of questions. Including are you really, okay?
- Major personality switch
Before the emergence of temperament such as phlegmatic, cholera, sanguine, and others. The two major personality variances were introvert and extrovert.
You are either an introvert or extrovert no grey area. Further research work on the concept of personality, has shown that people can be a blend of the two. However, one will be the primary personality trait while the other will be secondary.
If your primary personality trait is an extrovert who loves hanging out, going to parties, and posting on social media. suddenly switches into a full-blown introverted personality trait, your friends will definitely notice.
And when they notice this, they won’t be silent about this, and they will ask certain questions.
- Emotional outburst
When last did you lose your cool in the presence of your friends, family, or in public?
If it’s a habit of yours to always lose your cool, then your family and friends may be used to it.
However, if you are a calm person that hardly raises his/her voice in an argument, you will attract lots of attention as your loved ones might be surprised by your action.
The questions may not come immediately but be fully aware that they will ask the “Are you really, okay?” question.
- The tone in a conversation
Your tone in a conversation matters a lot. It can translate a lot of unspoken messages. Your tone might drive off some people. However, some relentless ones will press further by asking more questions.
Personal reasons for asking yourself the are you really okay question
- Unexplained sadness
The major reason you will ask yourself the are you really okay question, is due to an unexplainable sadness.
Have you felt sad but you have no concrete idea about why you are?
But for some reason, you just can’t pinpoint what you are sad about. This will definitely lead you to ask certain questions like; Is there really anything like unexplained sadness?
Honestly, I don’t believe there is a conception like that. It is simply layers of hidden hurt, resentment, and pain.
Next time you ask yourself this question, I think it is time to do some serious meditation.
Get some calm music, get a journal and try to recall all that has happened. It could be that you are unhappy with your job, life, partner or a decision you made recently.
Try to find out the cause of your unhappiness, Don’t Bury it by repeating” I’m fine” while standing in front of the mirror.
- Lack of motivation
There are some days where you just don’t feel like doing anything. That’s completely fine and okay.
Take a day off to chill, visit the spa, hang out with your friends or watch a movie.
However, if this continues for days, weeks, months and suddenly becomes your new routine, then something is absolutely wrong somewhere.
A lack of motivation to perform your job might ultimately be due to pressure from work.
It can also arise from other things like your personal life, or relationships.
If you keep on slacking at work, they might fire you and this could become another problem.
You need to get your mojo back, whatever is responsible for stealing your motivation has to leave.
It is the motivation that gets us out of bed when we open our eyes, it prevents us from staying lazy all day long.
You need to go for an ultimate inner search for the root cause of the problem and uproot it.
If you cannot do it alone. Then, you have friends and family to help you with it.
However, if you want to attack the problem without your family and friends, then there are a ton of books and YouTube videos that can be helpful.
- Pessimistic attitude
Have you been extremely negative lately and you are probably wondering if you are, okay?
I will gladly answer the question for you. You are absolutely not okay.
The world is a place filled with so many uncertainties, opportunities, joy, sadness, hurt, laughter but you chose negativity?
Negativity will not yield positive results, it will only keep you in a place of pain, regrets, and unhappiness.
I don’t know what made you decide to choose the path of negativity. However, it is not an ideal path for your physical and mental health.
Letting go and moving on might be one of the hardest things to do.
However, if we want to keep our sanity, happiness and peace we need to learn to let go.
A Pessimistic path cannot light up your day neither can it do the same for another person.
It just fills you with gloom and sadness that might ruin the little light you have left.
Don’t give in to pessimism, fight for a bright and beautiful future.
Read books, watch movies and walk with people that can help you stay positive.
- Been extremely tolerant
There is only so much we can take no matter how strong we think we are, tolerating people’s excesses is only healthy when it doesn’t affect you negatively.
There is a very thin line between tolerating people and being a people pleaser. No matter what you do, it is very important that you try very hard not to cross that line.
Most people cannot handle what they give out. It is not your responsibility to accept everything even when it is disrespectful to you.
Stop letting people disrespect you, it is a sign that you don’t love yourself.
You should love yourself enough to stand up for yourself.
Politely tell the person how they made you feel, if they don’t care to apologize that’s completely fine.
What matters is the fact that you made the decision to stand up for yourself.
If you are asking the “are you really, okay?” question, I totally understand.
We all have been there, that moment we feel like something is wrong but we don’t know what it is.
That period where we are hurt but are pretending to be strong to avoid unnecessary sympathy, that point where we have endured for so long, that we don’t even know the difference between what is real and what we want.
A popular quote says
“Most times the wound is where light passes through”
I think it is time to confront that hurt, pain, disappointment, and anger.
These four simple but deep words “Are you really, okay?” might give you the closure and freedom you deserve.