If someone has ever asked you this question “are you really, okay?” raise a finger up…
We have all been there!
A time where everything is bizarre but you can’t find the right words to explain it.
You aren’t sad but you aren’t happy either, it is a depressing mood.
This question “are you really, okay? is a sickening reminder, it reminds you that you’re not fine but you’re pretending to be.
The next time someone asks “are you really okay, it means that they have noticed something unusual.
No one will just walk up to you and ask you this question without a prior question.
Here’s an instance:
Picture yourself sitting alone at the bar sipping your drink.
Then someone works up to you and begins a conversation.
After your first or second response, the person might pick up on your mood and ask if you are fine.
Of course, the normal and regular answer is I’m fine or I’m okay.
However, if the person is persistent, there comes the second question, are you really, okay?
Not only a random stranger from the bar can ask this question, we do too.
Sometimes we ask ourselves this question without even realizing it.
Have you ever stood in front of your mirror while saying “I’m okay or I’m fine” repeatedly?
What are you trying to achieve here?
It’s quite simple, you are answering the question “are you really okay question”.
It’s not a rhetorical question!
The next time you ask yourself the question, try to give a truthful answer other than the usual “I’m fine” line.
It’s no news that depression and other negative social vices are on the increase today, in fact the new trend is #toxic positivity.
There might not be any hashtag like that on the Internet, but the fake smiles behind designer clothes and luxury lifestyles are synonymous with toxic positivity.
Why does the question are you really okay arise?
If you’re wondering why people keep asking you this question or why you keep asking yourself?
Keep reading to find out 5 reasons why people keep asking you this question and 4 reasons why you are asking yourself the same question.
1. Physical appearance
There is a popular saying “dress the way you want to be addressed”.
If you look shabby, unkempt, or disoriented, people will ask questions.
Most people will ask you, are you okay, is everything alright etc.however, the curious ones will not take a simple okay for an answer.
They will press further to find out what is wrong.
After your reply, they will respond with are you sure? Are you really okay and other questions that will keep you talking?
This is not an encouragement to hide under clothes and makeup.
It’s more of a warning sign that says If you look bad people will talk. Good as well but that’s not the point.
Appearance is not a solution for anything but it will attract attention from the people that love you and those that want another juicy gossip.
2. A sudden switch in mood
If you have a clique of friends or colleagues that you normally hang out with, they can tell when your mood suddenly turns sour.
It is a known fact that so many people are oblivious however, there are also observant people.
If you were chatting, laughing, or making fun of your friend, and suddenly, you go quiet, you just sit back and watch without any comments.
Your friends will notice and this will lead to a series of questions including are you really, okay?
3. Major personality switch
Before the emergence of temperament such as phlegmatic, cholera, sanguine, and others, you were either an introvert or extrovert.
Further research on the concept of personality has shown that people can be a blend of the two.
However, one will be the primary personality trait while the other will be secondary.
If your primary personality trait is an extrovert and suddenly you switch to a full-blown introvert, your friends will definitely notice.
They won’t be silent about this, and they will ask certain questions.
4. Emotional outburst
When last did you lose your cool in the presence of your friends, family, or in public?
If it’s a habit of yours to always lose your cool, then your family and friends may be used to it.
However, if you are a calm person that hardly raises his/her voice in an argument, you will attract lots of attention.
The questions may not come immediately but they will ask the “Are you really, okay?” question.
5. The tone in a conversation
Your tone in a conversation matters a lot, it can translate a lot of unspoken messages.
Your tone might drive off some people, however some relentless ones will ask further questions.
Now let’s consider 4 reasons for asking yourself “are you really okay”?
One major reason to ask yourself this question is an unexplainable sadness.
Have you felt sad but you have no idea why you are?It is simply layers of hidden hurt, resentment, and pain.
Next time you ask yourself this question, it is best to practice meditation.
Get some calm music, get a journal and try to recall all that’s happening in your life.
It could be because you’re unhappy with your job, life, partner or a decision you made.
Try to find out the cause of your unhappiness,
Don’t Bury it by repeating” I’m fine” while standing in front of the mirror.
b. Lack of motivation
There are some days you just don’t feel like doing anything, that’s fine.
Take a day off to chill, visit the spa, hang out with your friends or watch a movie.
However, if this continues for days, weeks, months and becomes your new routine, then something is wrong.
A lack of motivation to perform your job might be due to pressure from work.
It can also arise from other things like your personal life, or relationships.
If you keep on slacking at work, they will fire you and this could become another problem.
You need to get your mojo back, whatever is responsible for stealing your motivation has to leave.
It is the motivation that gets us out of bed when we open our eyes, it prevents us from staying lazy all day long.
You need to go for an ultimate inner search for the root cause of the problem and uproot it.
If you cannot do it alone, you have friends and family to help you with it.
However, if you want to fix the issue without your family and friends, then there are a ton of books and YouTube videos that can be helpful.
c. Pessimistic attitude
Have you been negative lately and you are wondering if you are okay?
Here’s the answer you’re looking for…
The world is filled with lots of uncertainties, opportunities, joy, sadness, hurt and laughter but you chose negativity?
Negativity will not yield positive results, it will only keep you in a place of pain, regrets, and unhappiness.
Whatever made you choose this path of negativity. is dangerous to your overall well being.
Letting go and moving on might be one of the hardest things to do.
However, if we want to keep our sanity, and peace you need to learn to let go.
A Pessimistic path cannot light up your day neither can it do the same for another person.
It just fills you with gloom and sadness that might ruin the little light you have left.
Don’t give in to pessimism, fight for a bright and beautiful future.
Read books, watch movies and walk with people that can help you stay positive.
d. Overly tolerant
There is only so much we can take no matter how strong we think we are.
Tolerating people’s excesses is healthy when it doesn’t affect your mental health.
There is a very thin line between tolerating people and being a people pleaser.
No matter what you do, don’t cross that line
Most people cannot handle what they give out, it is not your responsibility to accept everything s
Especially when it’s disrespectful to you.
Stop letting people disrespect you, it’s a sign that you don’t love yourself.
You should love yourself enough to stand up for yourself.
In a polite manner, tell the person how they made you feel, if they don’t care to apologize, that’s their business.
What matters is the fact that you made the decision to stand up for yourself.
If you are asking the “are you really, okay?” question, that’s okay.
We have all been there, that moment we feel like something is wrong but we don’t know what it is.
That period where we are hurt but are pretending to be strong to avoid unnecessary sympathy,
A popular quote says
“Most times the wound is where light passes through”
It’s time to confront that hurt, pain, disappointment, and anger.
These four simple but deep words “Are you really, okay?” might give you the closure and freedom you deserve.