Most people are curious about this, they want to understand why they need to care for their parents in old age.
To answer your question, here’s a question for you “Do you have unresolved issues with your parent”?
If your answer is no, then you shouldn’t be asking this question.
At an old age, our parents are no longer fit or capable of handling certain daily activities themselves.
They need our help or the help of live-in nurses to assist them in so many daily tasks.
Taking care of our parents in their old age should not be seen as a burden.
Some parents did their best to look for their kids while we were growing up, it’s admirable to return the favour.
It is true that some parents in their older age are capable of taking care of themselves, this is an exception and not a general rule.
If your parents can take care of themselves in their old age, that’s great. But it is not a good enough reason to leave them without help.
Let’s take a practical example:
As a young award-winning athlete, you might get into an accident and injure yourself. This might lead to the end of your career.
However, if you scale through your younger age without any injury, as you age your speed and strength reduces.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to run again but you may not perform like before.
It is the same with our parents, the way they handle their activities while they were younger will reduce with time.
But there’s a deal breaker…
A lot of parents did not take care of their children so their children return the favor.
Is this good or bad? That’s a question you need to answer yourself.
Reasons children do not take care of their parents in old age
There are so many reasons why children refuse to take care of their parents in old age.
Not everyone has lovely, understanding, and supportive parents.
1.Some parents are victims of victims.
This means they did not receive love or support from their parents therefore they do the same to their kids.
If you are a victim of child abuse or neglect, you should go for therapy.
Don’t transfer your hate or hurt to your kids, they did nothing to deserve those harsh treatment.
Most children grew up in an unfriendly parental environment, they have little to no understanding of what love, support, and friendship feels like.
When these kids grow up in a dysfunctional environment, they plan their revenge against their parents.
In their time of pain and depression, the only thing that kept them going was revenge.
They live with high hopes of repaying their parents or guardians, by neglecting them in their old age.
At this stage, forgiveness doesn’t mean a thing to them.
Of course, we all know that “sorry” is not a magic eraser but most times that’s all they are left with – Regrets and apologies.
While this might sound untrue and impossible, it is true.
There are some children who will refuse to take care of their parents because their friends are doing the same.
Peers have conversations and sometimes they can be unpleasant.
You hear statements like…
- It is their responsibility to take care of us. It is not the other way round
- My parents did not take care of my grandparents. So why should I? Did your parents take care of your grandparents?
- You have your kids to worry about, your parents are adults.
- If your parents disturb you a lot just relocate to somewhere they can’t reach you.
- My parents can handle themselves in their old age. Yours should do the same too.
- Such annoying and demanding parents.
I interviewed some people about this topic and a particular answer stood out;
The lady’s reply was “my parents are annoying and demanding.” Nothing I ever do is enough for them; it seems like they have forgotten that I’m no longer a child”.
They can’t tell me what to do or how to take care of them. I never did that when I was a child, I took whatever they gave me.
I couldn’t tolerate their nagging so I made a decision to stop taking care of them.
Most children do not understand why they need to take care of their parents in their old age.
Maybe, their parents didn’t take care of their own parents, therefore they were not able to learn anything.
That’s okay. Read on to find out why you need to take care of your parents in their old age.
The major reasons you should take care of your parents in old age
1. They are old
The major reason you need to take care of your parents in their old age is because they are old.
They aren’t as strong as they used to be, yes they can handle certain activities by themselves.
However, they need your care, love as well as financial support.
Most children receive their parents support till they are 18 -25, however, some wealthy parents always support their kids no matter the age.
If your parents are wealthy and need little to no financial support from you that’s okay.
The fact that they do not need money, does not mean that they do not need any form of care.
If they need maids or live-in nurses, it is your responsibility to ensure that you personally screen or interview them.
Don’t open your parents’ home to strangers that you have little to no knowledge about.
You can also visit and call them regularly to ensure that they are doing well.
Bringing the kids over once in a while is also a good way to take care of your parents in their old age.
2. To show love and support
One important way to show our love and support for our parents is to take care of them in their old age.
Despite the age, when you love or support someone you try your best to meet their needs.
The only way to meet the needs of your parents in their old age is to show love and support by caring for them.
Check up on them, ensure that they go for medical checkups.
If you have enough finances, you can employ staff to help them with their daily activities.
You can also hire a live-in nanny, someone who looks after them, cooks their meals, does the laundry, ensures they eat healthy and engages in some form of exercise.
3. They can’t
Another reason you should take care of your parents in their old age is because a lot of them can’t.
Most parents are susceptible to illnesses, they may feel tired and have little or no strength to cook, clean, and engage in other domestic activities.
4. They can’t do the things they once did.
Most settle for menial or less tasking jobs with lesser pay and fewer hours.
As their child, you should take up the responsibility of catering for them to the best of your capacity.
5. You can
If you can then, why not?
You are stronger, capable of handling more strenuous jobs, and you probably earn more than them.
As much as you, it’s best to look after your parents in their old age.
Revenge might be sweet especially when served cold, but does it change the past?
There are so many reasons why a lot of children are adamant to take care of their parents.
However, there are many more reasons why you should.
It is sad that some parents expose their children to emotional and physical abuse, this leads to hatred and zeal for revenge.
I can’t tell you to forget everything they did to you especially when you have physical and emotional scars to show for it.
But I will leave you with some questions;
Can revenge make up for the tears, pain, and hurt you felt?
Will it make everything better?
If your kids hear about it, what will they think?
Are you happy with your decision?
These are difficult questions to answer, ponder on your answers then,make your decision.
The choice is yours.