Do you really know your friends?
Has someone ever asked you this question “do you really know your friends? “
If yes! Then the topic is reminding you to watch out for the kind of friends you keep. However, if nobody has ever asked you this question, we’ll I am asking you now!
Everyone needs a friend, someone that cheers you up in your lowest time. An individual or group of people that always have your back despite in everything.
Someone that defends you in public but cautious you in private. People that support your dream and push you to be all that you dream of.
We all hope and wish to have cliques, go and vacations and party together.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wishing for this kind of friendship. However, the truth is this kind of friendship is extremely hard to find.
We live in a world where friends slander, humiliates, and gossip about their friends in their absence.
The term “Fake friends” is practically seen in real life. People hurt the ones they call friends without any feeling of remorse.
Currently, so many people are extremely scared of making friends. There are so many factual stories of the hurts and evil that “so-called friends” have wrought.
Due to the current system of friends in our society today, it is necessary to ask yourself “Do I really know my friends”
Ask yourself this question and ensure that you answer these questions truthfully.
If it happens once, it is a mistake, twice it can be a coincidence however, thrice is deliberate.
It is about time you stop making up silly excuses to cover up a deliberate action.
You need to examine your friends and if you discover that the relationship is toxic. I advise you to quit those relationships immediately.
Signs to show that you do not know your friends
The basic necessity
This is one of the most common and underestimated factors that shows you that you don’t know your friends.
Simple things like their favorite food, dress style, likes and dislikes, family, job, where they live of the job they do.
If you do not know these basic things about your friends. You are not the only one, there are so many people like you!
Although having prior knowledge of your friends’ personal choices is not a true test of friendship.
However, I show that you pay attention to details or the communication level of your relationship is effective.
The major benefits of having prior knowledge about your friend/friends choices include;
- It promotes understanding as you are fully aware of their likes and dislikes
- You can easily tolerate or forgive a person when you are aware of their weaknesses.
- It helps you in making certain decisions with regards to surprise, gift purchase, or helping out their spouse.
If you are always in a quarrel with your friend/friends. Then it is very possible that you do not really know them.
Argument/disagreement occurs in every relationship, however, if it occurs frequently among your friends. There is a problem!
The major cause of the argument is a lack of understanding. During an argument, both parties always believe that they are right.
It’s like a competition that no one wants to lose. Most times third parties find it quite easy to resolve a conflict because they are not emotionally or psychologically involved.
Biased judgments arise when the judge is emotionally affiliated with one or both parties.
Friends that always argue do not really understand themselves. There are some things that can be easily tolerated or avoided when there is an understanding among friends.
Always misinterpret their actions
I have a question for you!
If you are in a group but you excused yourself to pick a call. On returning to re-join the table you discover that everyone is laughing at something your friend said.
How will you react?
If you start imagining that your friend said something bad about you. Then, you do not know your friend.
However, if you know that is something your friend is capable of doing. You shouldn’t be too surprised.
There are certain things your friend does that you should understand better than anyone else.
Most people are very good at making jokes about their friends. If you have such a friend, you should know that they do not mean to harm or hurt you in any way.
Communication is hard
Is it hard to communicate with your friend? Do you feel more comfortable talking behind your friend to other people?
Do you harbor unresolved differences and issues?
All these are pointers that the communication level of the relationship is extremely low.
A default communication system arises from a default knowledge about the individual.
If you understand or really know your friend, communication should not be an issue.
Tips to apply to know your friends better
You need to be deliberate. There is no need to beat around the bush.
In a calm and polite manner, inform your friends that you need to have an important conversation.
If you are not deliberate about this, then your actions and results will be left to chance.
- Keep an open mind throughout the conversation.
- Be nice but truthful.
- Talk about unresolved issues and try to find a central point.
- Apologize for mistakes committed deliberately or out of ignorance.
- If the conversation gets sour and no party wants to listen. Call the meeting off.
Repeat it in few months, however, if a center point cannot be reached. This could be a potentially toxic relationship.
After reading this article, if you notice that you do not really know your friends.
Then you can choose to work on the relationship. However, if the friendship is actually toxic and detrimental to your mental health.
It is advisable that you quit the relationship in a peaceful manner.
It might not be peaceful or quiet but ensure that you put in extra efforts to end the relationship without much conflicts.
Always remember that prevention is better than cure.