10 Proven ways to change your personality
A lot of people believe that their personality is stable or static (I.e it cannot be changed and when your personality is developed from a very tender age that’s how you will remain forever). Is this really true? Is our personality a constant and unchanging variable?
This concept is a bit controversial as there are some psychologists and psychoanalysts both in support and against the motion. An Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud stated that an individual personality is developed by the age of 5 and these traits stay with them for the rest of their lives.
There are so many other psychologists that agree to this theory, they also claim that our personality is greatly influenced by our genetic makeup however some external factors may play a role in the development of our personality.
Recent studies and research argue vehemently about this claim, they stated that personality can only be measured with a standard known as the big five. The big five measures an individual personality ranking them based on where they fall in;
1.Level of extraversion
How do you relate with people, do you like hanging out with people? Are you comfortable in a social event when new faces are all around? How often do you make friends? What’s your relationship like with a new acquaintance. According to these recent studies, this is a measurement that is used to ascertain one’s relationship with other people.
In our society today a lot of people are suffering from imbalanced emotional health and this has lead to so many mental illnesses including depression. This measurement seeks to explore how stable a person’s emotions are, can you easily get over a heartbreak or do you slip into depression? How do you handle hurt, loss and betrayals?
How nice are you? For someone to accept one’s opinion you must be nice enough to listen to what they are saying in order to process and understand their point of view. This measurement seeks to uncover an individual one’s ability to be nice to themself and others.
Some people are so rigid in their beliefs, ideology and understanding of a particular concept. For instance, water was poured into a cup but it was not completely filled. Two students were asked to describe the amount of water in a cup to their teacher and this was their response.
Response 1: Sir the glass is half empty
Response 2: The glass is half-filled
Just like the students most people’s beliefs and ideologies are just straightforward, limiting and totally backward. This measurement shows how open or closed off one is to other recent modifications, ideas and concepts.
Most people have lots of fantastic dreams but they hardly work towards achieving them.
We all want good things in life but how prepared are we to work towards our goals, Saying “I will do this” doesn’t actually mean you have done it.
This measurement on conscientiousness helps to ascertain one’s ability to say something and actually do it.
Can an individual change their personality?
Although some psychologists and psychoanalyst claim that personality is static and not subject to change recent studies and research has proved otherwise.
According to live happy, a study was conducted on 377 people, these people were questioned about their personality and their willingness to change certain characters or habits.
The response of the people was to be more extroverted and less neurotic, they were subjected to actions that could improve their personality. The studies have shown when their personality was measured using the big five all individuals that actually worked towards achieving their desired personality have a noticeable increase/ decrease in their desired personality.
This shows that unlike the belief of so many psychologists personality can be changed when the needed actions are taken.
It is evident from the study that a change in personality is very possible, in our individual lives we can notice that the characters exhibited by our parents or friends while they were younger is quite different from what they are right now.
Personality is not static rather it is dynamic, it is change that one can choose to undergo for instance if you notice that you are not a social person but you would really love to make more friends. You can achieve this if you engage in daily actions that can lead to the actualization of your personality change.
7 ways to change your personality?
Daily actions need to be taken in order to effect a change in your personality; there are steps to follow, personal goals to set and of course the willingness to change is a very important factor.
1.Make the decision to change
The first step to take in order to change your personality will be to make a decision that you need to change. It takes more than just a wish to effect a change, if you want to change anything you have to realize that you are probably doing something incorrectly hence the need for a change.
Hating on a particular character doesn’t lead to change, ignoring your flaws because you feel they are innate does not also lead to change. If you want to change your life you must be willing to make a decision, this is a choice you have to make by yourself(I.e it should be a personal decision).
It is no secret that external factors can affect our decisions however if we let people decide our personalities for us, telling us what we can do right or wrong we will discover that most times we don’t change after all its people’s opinions.
The decision to effect a change in one’s personality should be strictly influenced by the individual’s personal choice as this will serve as a reminder to the individual.
The individual will be continually reminded that they made the choice to change, they were not forced or coerced to change and this will motivate them to work hard to achieve the change they envision.
- Live your life for now and your future
Most people interpret the statement “live in the moment” in a manner that supports their self degrading behaviour and lifestyle.
Living in the moment is not a yardstick for the exhibition of characters that are potentially damaging to your future life.
Try to live your life now like it is a very interesting movie that you are watching when you grow older. Don’t exhibit characters that affect the older you when you discover that there is a personality that you might not like to exhibit as you grow, it is your responsibility to slowly do away with such characters.
If you are a people pleaser (I.e someone who does everything possible to make sure that people love, appreciate and approve of them) try to put off these attributes. I’m not sure you want to remember yourself in the future as someone who listens to the whimsy complains of everybody and tries to fix them.
- Set achievable and realistic goals
How can you decide to completely cut off the flour from your diet when your favorite snack is cake, it is almost impossible. You can start by reducing the amount of flour you consume daily rather than an abrupt cessation which may be harder to achieve.
Most times people set goals that are so high and they may not be able to reach their goals, if you want to change your goals then you should set long term goals and divide them into shorter tasks that are achievable.
When your goals are time bound and measurable it makes it easier for you to achieve them, these traits you want to change have been part of your life for a long time therefore you cannot change them with a snap of a finger.
Be patient with yourself, ensure that you give yourself some time to create an accurate plan that you can stick with however if there is a relapse during the course of your change don’t hate yourself or feel like a failure.
To effect a change you must get use to making several mistakes however this shouldn’t make you to quit rather it should fuel you to do better.
- What is your motivation
There are a lot of times you decide to start something new however most times you stop halfway and you are probably wondering why.
One of the major reasons why people are unable to complete a task or a particular goal is because they lack any form of motivation towards particular tasks.
It’s very common for someone to notice something spectacular about someone and wish to emulate the attitude or character however they have no idea about the driving force of that person.
Working towards a change in personality is not wrong especially if the character exhibited is not favourable to you and the people around you. However to change your personality you need strong motivation, something that will keep you focused and dedicated even when you experience a relapse.
Your end goal (I.e what you hope to acquire once you have completely changed your personality), the positive remarks you will receive and the boosts it offers to your confidence level can all be sources of motivation.
Ensure that you find motivation while trying to achieve a particular personality goal, it is effective, efficient and productive.
- Understand your temperament
A personality change does not mean a sudden switch from an introvert to an extroverted person, there is absolutely no need to switch personalities in a manner that negatively affects our temperament.
An individual can improve their personality without actually tampering with their temperament for instance an extremely introverted person is offered a well paying job position that requires them to address quite a large number of people.
In order to do this, the individual has to undergo changes in their personality(he/she had to deal with the feelings of insecurity, low self esteem and work towards boosting their level of confidence).
The individual has to dedicate time to develop their public speaking ability and learn to interact with people.
This doesn’t mean that the person is now an extrovert, it just shows that certain introverted characteristics has been improved and although the individual is still an introvert he/she has built lot of characters that will improve their overall personality.
- Expand your horizons
People that describe themselves with a fixed mentality are always confused when they display characters or attitudes that are completely different from their way of life.
Humans are capable of exhibiting characters that are completely out of their normal behaviour, if you always describe yourself as calm, quiet and agreeable you are simply restricting your abilities.
There are a lot of life situations that will cause us to react differently from the way we normally do, we should not limit ourselves to certain characteristics even if they are the major personality we exhibit.
Flexibility is a major key that fosters a change in one’s personality, when you constantly describe yourself as a flexible being who is capable of reacting to external stimulus and handling unprecedented situations your mind becomes more receptive when a need for change arises.
- Setbacks will arise
Whenever a change is close something else is even closer and that is setbacks, push backs or relapse. Setbacks should not be the reason you quit from your quest to change and improve your personality.
If you receive resistance while trying to change a particular character, this is basically your body’s way of complaining about this new change that it is not familiar with.
At this point you need your motivation, it will serve as a reminder that keeps you focus on your end goal.
How to become more extroverted?
1.Start a conversation with someone you haven’t met before.
- Compliment a vendor for their awesome customer service.
- Search and write down questions that can serve as conversation starters.
- Volunteer in a group or an event.
- Call a long time friend.
- Speak to a friend about a problem you are faced with.
- When someone asks for your opinion about something ensure that you give them an honest answer.
Steps to become less neurotic?
1.Engage in meditation and yoga.
- Show gratitude for little achievements.
- Start journaling.
- Add positive affirmation to your daily routine.
Personality is not static rather it is dynamic, if you exhibit certain characters that you don’t like and you feel like changing them you can easily achieve this by following the steps listed above.
Don’t limit your personality flexibility, always remember that change is constant.
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