15 signs to show that your partner isn’t contributing to the marriage
If your partner is not contributing to the marriage. I strongly advise that you talk to them about it.
A relationship is a partnership; it takes two people to agree in order to actually stay together as one. Marriage is an institution that is birth by the partnership between two companies.
Before two companies form a partnership, they engage in series of meetings to ensure that no party feels cheated.
The company flourishes when both parties do their respective duties effectively. Inability or a decline in the productivity of any party can negatively affect the growth of the company.
Inasmuch as both parties were completely different entities. The moment they made the decision to become partners.
They equally make the choice to work together to achieve a similar goal.
Most times when two companies form a merger, they take one name and use the order symbol or logo.
Both parties must let go of some things that represent them(singular) and acquire other things that represent the union(plural).
A partnership has to be equal and rational to prevent disagreement and lots of court cases. Most times partnership can last for decades or centuries, depending on the initial contract signed.
The individuals that made the partnership may be dead, however, the contract stills remains intact.
This is the same thing that happens in marriages. Two individuals with different lifestyles, backgrounds, upbringing, tastes, weaknesses, flaws, and hobbies.
May leave their initial company (parents’ home or individual house) to begin a new company (a family) together.
These two individuals have chosen to be with one another despite the ups and downs of life. They chose to work together to achieve a singular goal.
In order to ensure that the marriage flourishes. They both must be willing to adapt to certain characters their partner might exhibit.
They are to make the choice to settle their matters or constantly visit the marriage counselor or their lawyer for a divorce.
If the partnership yields offspring, the offspring(children) forever remains a product of the partnership.
Issues arise in marriages when one partner feels like the other partner is not contributing to the marriage. In a relationship, both parties are supposed to work hard together to achieve their goals.
Benefits of an effective partnership in marriage
Most times, people fail to engage in certain practices because they cannot understand the benefits.
Are there any benefits associated with an effective partnership?
Of course, there are so many benefits one can enjoy in marriage. Where effective partnership takes place.
There’s a popular saying that when people fail to plan, they plan to fail. This is applicable in the case of an ineffective partnership.
When people are working in unison to achieve a single goal. It makes the process easier to achieve. For example, if both the husband and wife are invested in preparing their children for school.
One person will not feel stressed out with the responsibility of making breakfast, bathing the kids, dropping them at school, etc.
It is so much easier when couples seat down and share tasks at achieving a single goal.
When both couples know what to do and when to do it. The whole process appears seamless and easier.
In a partnership, both parties are knowledgeable about their roles in an organization.
They know what is expected from each other, they understand their individuality and cooperation as part of the firm.
The same thing applies in marriages when two parties practice effective partnership. Their understanding of each other’s roles will increase.
For instance, if a wife knows that it is her husband’s duty to take the trash out. However recently he forgot to do it, she can easily help him out with ease.
Knowing that he regularly does it, however, certain things have prevented him from remembering. She will comfortably help him out without much complaint.
Signs that your partner is not contributing to the relationship
If you notice these signs in your marriage, it is clearly a sign that your partner is not contributing to the marriage.
You always ask for help
In a relationship where you always have to ask for help, it might get tiring. In a partnership, one partner doing all the work might lead to inconsistency in work.
A partnership will never flourish effortlessly when only one party handles all responsibility.
This also applies to marriage. When one party always cries out for help. While the other one sits still and does nothing.
This is obvious that the partner does not contribute to the marriage. If your partner is always asking for help, you are doing something wrong.
They never want to talk about tasks
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner never wants to talk about tasks?
Whenever the subject of discussion is about the distribution of tasks. The partner seems restless or unconcerned while the discussion is ongoing.
In a partnership, both partners need to have a conversation. And actually, discuss the tasks they will be handling.
Extremely defensive when discussion about contributions is raised
If you are in a relationship where your partner is always making up excuses.
“I work late” “the kids” “my job”
All these are forms of excuses a partner can use to defend themselves. Especially when discussion on matters about contributing to the marriage is raised.
When you are always in a defensive position, there might never be a chance to learn anything.
You always make all the big decisions
If you are responsible for making all the big decisions, then it’s possible that you are in a defective partnership.
In a business, all the big decisions relating to the company. Are made after thorough analysis by both parties.
The keyword here is “both” it takes both parties’ agreement before any implementation of a new decision.
They are completely unreliable
Who do you run to when you are in a difficult situation?
Your parents, your siblings, your friends, a stranger?
If the answer is mentioned above, know that your partnership is ineffective.
When there are difficult times in a business, the partners turn to each other.
After proper deliberation, they can resolve the issue themselves or seek the help of a third party.
You never seek advice from them in a crisis
If you never seek advice from your partner. Then you are definitely not in a partnership.
A Partner will always seek a solution from someone that understands the running of the business.
Sometimes the help of a third party might be sought for, however, the advice of a partner is always sought after.
You always feel stressed out all day long throughout the week.
If you receive no help from your partner and feel extremely tired all day long. This is an obvious sign that your partner is not contributing to the marriage.
This shows that your partnership is faulty, your partner is obviously letting you do everything yourself.
Stress can cause certain negative occurrences including increase acne or pimple and other mental and physical sicknesses.
When things don’t go right, you always blame yourself
Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong.
It is not your problem; you are just in a relationship with a partner that doesn’t contribute.
Quite often in a relationship, one party is always at fault for every wrong thing that happened.
This is because they are responsible for handling almost everything in the relationship.
You feel like you are being treated unfairly
Our feelings can be deceiving sometimes however this particular feeling is very accurate.
If you feel like your partner treats you in an unpleasant manner. Then there’s a 97% possibility that you are right.
Your partner may claim to love and respect you however, what do their actions say.
There is always something new to do all day long
If you are responsible for all activities all day long. Once you finish one task, another one is waiting for you.
Why? Why must you be the one that does everything? You really need to deal with this if you want to live a long and healthy life.
You feel accountable for everything
Son: Mom I can’t find my PJ masks socks
Daughter: Mom where is my Sophia’s pajamas
Husband: Honey, did you send my clothes to the laundry yesterday?
All these questions, for one person at the same time?
This is a very good example of a relationship where one party is doing everything.
In a partnership, everyone is responsible for everything. No one handles everything for everyone. It might lead to a system dysfunction.
If you don’t remember important dates no one else does
Are you always the one that remembers the important dates? No care else cares enough to remember.
This is a major feature of a partner that doesn’t contribute. Since he/she has everything done for them, they do not feel responsible for anything or anyone.
Extremely alert whenever your partner is around
A partner should not be scared or extremely fearful of their partner (I.e. walking on eggshells).
In a relationship, both parties should be aware of what each other can do.
Hence, there is no need for extreme cautiousness when the partner is available.
Feel completely alone and neglected
If you always feel alone, receive no extra care or attention from your partner.
Then the partnership is faulty. Your partner should make you feel loved and wanted not the opposite.
They do not return favors
Do you always create time to text them at work, get them gifts?
Leave random notes for them, make breakfast in bed but they never return the favor.
This act does not comply with the law of partnership. In partnership you give and receive, there is mutual understanding.
How to address a partner that doesn’t contribute?
Shouting, silent treatments and apportioning of blame is never an effective way to deal with conflicts.
There are so many ways to approach the issue of a partner that doesn’t contribute. And the above-listed ways are not part of them.
If you want to approach the issue of a partner that doesn’t contribute their quota try to follow the three easy ways.
Effective communication is underrated but it is one of the best ways to approach this issue. Your partner might come from a home where one partner does everything.
Hence they have no idea that they are supposed to help you out with certain things. This is not a problem; you can easily handle the situation by communicating with them.
Tell them to help you out, decide to involve them in certain chores. Keeping silent might not resolve the situation, try to talk about it.
Stop doing everything for them
We have talked about it already?
He or she already knows their responsibility, however, they have made the choice to avoid it completely.
Well, that’s simply because you fix it for them. When you constantly make it a habit, to do the task of your partner for them because they always forget.
Then, they will believe that you are completely able of doing everything without their help.
Do not let them treat you in this manner, stop doing things for them when it becomes regular.
It’s not bad to help them out once in a while, however when you discover that it has become a pattern.
Then you should immediately seize doing it and instead remind them lovingly to do it themself.
- Share responsibility
Partners are able to function effectively when they share responsibility.
Don’t say, he should be able to think or can’t she see that I need help with this.
Instead, draw a plan that clearly states the responsibility of everyone. It is so much easier than doing everything or giving them the silent treatment.
Most times your partner does not even know that you need help.
Don’t act like a “partner in distress” talk to your partner about the situation and try to resolve it.