The best 8 ways to avoid settling for less
The major reason why people settle for less is “insecurity”
Insecurity is the big bad that has crippled a lot of minds, it is responsible for this “I don’t deserve feeling or mentality”
I’m quite certain that at some point in our life.
We have all faced a time when we felt like we weren’t good enough for the job or perhaps we don’t deserve the promotion.
This kind of feeling is what I call insecurity. Insecurity doesn’t need to have a fancy definition. It definitely does not deserve it as it wrecks homes and individuals.
Whenever you get a raise at work or you got a higher position in your company. But you feel like you don’t deserve any of it.
This feeling is known as insecurity.
There are so many in the world suffering because they accepted to settle for less.
What does settling for less mean
Everyone might have different definitions for this concept. But my favorite is;
Choosing to remain at the bottom not because it is comfortable. But because you feel it is convenient for you and everybody else.
Settling for less does not only occur in our jobs. It is also prevalent in other things we do.
Before we talk about how to avoid settling for less. Let’s look at the common mistakes we make daily that signifies settling for less.
9 common ways people settle for less
If you visit the supermarket or mall to get a specific thing. There is a possibility that you may not find what you are searching for in the first store.
There are other stores that might have what you are looking for. Why don’t you try them out before settling for the available?
Don’t get me wrong, there are sometimes we need a quick DIY. But it shouldn’t be always.
Dear readers, please do not form the habit of always settling for something else because by so doing, you are slowly forming a new habit of settling for less.
Most people might laugh about this. However, the truth remains that you have made the decision to slowly start settling for less.
Never have an opinion
Of course, we all have that friend that is a great fashionista. The one that is super great with colors, pattern, and makeup.
Having a friend like this is great. It saves us from watching several YouTube videos in order to achieve the perfect arch for our brows.
The problem arises when you have no say over your choice of clothes or makeup any longer.
If you love calm makeup and she says expressive makeup is the new trend. You don’t always have to settle with her opinions.
We listen to people’s opinions to make a decision. We don’t let them make the choices for us.
If you know that you will not feel comfortable at the wedding due to the makeup. Don’t settle, put your foot forward and state clearly that you want neutral makeup.
Please note that adding colors to our makeup sometimes can be really beautiful. Just my opinion.
I don’t know
My lovely readers if you are among this group of people please unsubscribe to this.
What should I get you? I don’t know
Do you want mint chocolate ice cream? I don’t know
Will you be willing to go ice skating?…
I don’t know is not an answer. The two most simple answers we have in the world are yes or no.
It’s quite simple if you always say “ I don’t know” to everything.
Indirectly you are saying “make the choice, whatever works for you work for me”
This shouldn’t be the way you live your life. If the question is a little bit trickier then ask for time.
Upgrade your vocabulary. Instead of saying “I don’t know” use other words like;
- I need a little time to think about it?
- Yes but(set your terms)
- I’m sorry but I will have to decline, maybe some other time.
There are so many other words you can use. Please share some more words to use in place of “I don’t know “ in the comment section.
I don’t know what made you a people pleaser. But I can tell you that this a really bad way to live.
Life is beautiful, wonderful, and astonishing. When we are around people that genuinely love and care about us.
It’s okay to love someone that doesn’t love you. There’s no much we can do about it, then accept that they won’t love you back.
However, it’s not acceptable to become a slave to someone. Just because you love them.
Who says he/she must always have their say? All they can choose to barge in on your time whenever they feel like it.
They might love you or pretend to love you. In whatever you are doing ensure that you set boundaries to avoid being a people pleaser.
I always tell people not to accept disrespect even from themselves.
Every day you wake up in the morning. Do this exercise, go to the mirror and tell yourself that you are not allowed to accept disrespect.
You might be wondering? How can I disrespect myself?
We all disrespect ourselves when we are lacking in self-hygiene.
If you have bad breath or an offensive body odor or you keep your nails, clothes, and home always untidy.
I’m not saying that you ought to be the perfect human 24 hours of the day.
No! All I’m saying is, don’t make tardiness or foul smell a habit. This is a total disrespect to yourself.
Also, if people disrespect you especially your friends. Don’t always be the tolerating one.
If you don’t complain, they might never stop.
Never having an opinion
If you are always the one without an opinion in your circle. It simple, you are definitely settling for less.
I know most times planning a vacation or party can be tasking. However, if you make it a habit of having no choice.
At some point, no one will care about your opinions. They will believe that anything works for you.
Are you an “everything works for me man or woman”
Sweetheart, I’m sorry about this but you are definitely on the path of settling for less.
Why must you always be the wrong one? It feels strange that every time there’s an argument you are always wrong.
Except you deliberately derive joy causing fights or arguments.
You can’t always be the wrong one. Moreover, there is a popular saying that “it takes two to tangle”
My lovely reader, please stand up for yourself. It’s about time that some tells you sorry for a change.
When you are wrong ensure that you apologize but if you aren’t. Don’t let anyone make you seem like the villain.
If your friends always blame you for everything even when it’s no fault of yours.
I personally think it time to get a new set of friends.
Scared to express your feelings of hurt
If someone hurts you, tell them they hurt you. It is completely up to them to choose to apologize or not.
Don’t hide your hurt because you want someone to love you. If they can’t love the real you that gets hurt sometimes.
Then they probably do not deserve you.
If you are always pretending around the ones you love. I hate to say this but I really can’t refer to that as love.
Love is freedom, you feel comfortable and at peace with those you love.
A place where love rules therefore, judgment and criticism never creeps in.
If you need to pretend to keep the relationships in your life right now. You are definitely settling for less.
There are little things we do or accept every day and they are detrimental to our mental health.
Our mental health is important, to avoid settling for less we need to get rid of some toxic people and habits.
8 ways to avoid settling for less
I advise you to read the common ways people settle for less. Before advancing to this section of the article.
The former will give you a broader understanding of the concept.
This section is basically a compilation of possible solutions that can help humans to stop settling for less.
Make the decision
We will complete our daily tasks and achieve our goals. If only we start with the most basic step which is to make the decision.
Engage in self-examination to determine if you are settling for less. No matter the outcome of the examination please ensure you keep a positive and open mind.
The next thing to do is to actually make the decision to do something.
Three people might be suffering from the same situation however, one person might have a different outcome.
It’s not magic, the individual just made the choice to make lemonade from the lemons presented to him/her.
Settling for less is a bad habit that can be broken with the right approach.
Set a plan
It’s one thing to make a decision and another completely different thing to create a plan.
Most people get stuck in this second stage. The reason is simple, their plans are not realistic.
Settling for less is a habit, which means it would be hard to break. Make future plans, yearly, monthly, weekly and daily plans.
If you set a future plan as a daily plan you will definitely get stuck. Always remember that you are dealing with a habit, it might take a while.
Stop making wishes and start creating a plan.
You need to start with the little things. Most people who settle for less are unable to achieve compliments.
They see themselves as undeserving of recognition, praise, or compliment.
You need to break this mindset. There’s a popular saying, it says “fake it till you make it”.
I think it strongly applies to this concept. Start accepting compliments even when you don’t believe them.
Ponder over the words and keep accepting more compliments. When two or more people compliment a particular thing, you might slowly start believing them.
Celebrate your wins
It’s just a car, mom I’m not the first to graduate with honors. I don’t feel like celebrating, there’s nothing new about a promotion.
Stop right there! These are the words of an individual who is strongly dedicated to settling for less.
The truth is those things you have now someone has been struggling to get for years.
That reason alone should be enough boost to get you to celebrate.
Celebrate the smallest and insignificant things like getting a good parking spot or the last pair of cornflakes at the mall.
It doesn’t have to be a party with loud music and drinks. It could be the little happy dance you do when no one is watching.
Hanging out with your friends, giving yourself a treat, or screaming into your pillow.
Learn to celebrate those little things.
Scrutinize your circle
Most times our circle might be toxic but we still stick with it.
It just like cigarettes, It is written on most cigarettes packs that “smokers are liable to die young”
Yet this doesn’t faze smokers at all, it is toxic but they stick with it till their death.
Don’t make the mistake of smokers, if you have toxic relationships. It is time to bid them farewell and move on with your life.
Bidding them farewell doesn’t exactly mean, keeping grudges against them. It could be something as simple as reducing the time you spend with them.
If you don’t have the courage to instantly quit the relationship.
Start with little things like missing important dates and making a lot of excuses to avoid meeting them.
Make better relationships
While getting rid of your relationship you also need to make better positive relationships.
Don’t stay with friends you might feel completely lonely in this extremely large world.
Not everyone is like your toxic friends, partner, or family. Ensure that you constantly remind yourself of this every single day.
Be happy for other’s success
There is no benefit that comes with being jealous of someone’s success.
It okay to be inspired by people’s success, be envious yield nothing gainful.
Celebrate with others and you just might learn to celebrate yourself too.
Choose your happiness every day
There is nothing greater than choosing to be happy every day.
We face a lot of challenges that are very capable of ruining our day. However when we constantly choose our happiness.
We are making a deliberate decision to stay happy despite how hard our day felt.
Every day we live, it’s a chance to make better decisions. As humans, we have passed through different stages of growth.
However, the stage we never completely finish till we die. Is the learning stage. We learn every day.
Don’t beat yourselves up, if you have been settling for less all these years.
Today you have learned something new. Put the past behind you and make the decision to choose your peace.