It’s easy to begin a new relationship, but it takes hard work and patience to build a healthy one.
The important thing to know about building relationships is –everybody is different.
You can’t build a healthy relationship if you want everyone to always do things your way.
If you’re controlling and obsessed with leading, it will be difficult to build a healthy relationship.
But you aren’t like that…
That’s why you’re reading this blog to learn about healthy relationships and how to build them.
Keep reading to find out 5 ways to build a healthy relationship.
You might be doing 2 and leaving out three that’s why your relationship is sick.
Find the errors and fix them! That’s how to build your relationship.
Why it’s hard to build a healthy relationship
There’s a popular saying…
“to fix a problem, you need to get to the root of it”
If building a healthy relationship was that simple, everyone would have figured it out and there will be no need for this post.
But it’s not that simple!
And here are 3 major reasons why you struggle to build a healthy relationship.
(a). You’re selfish
Relationships are selfless.
This doesn’t mean you need to lose yourself and do everything to please your spouse or friends.
No, it means making decisions and putting in efforts to do things for others that may not even benefit you.
If you cannot make sacrifices for your friends, you can’t have their back in times of challenges, what’s the need for the relationship?
Life is not all about you and your needs, other people matter!
Like the bible says…
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
(b). You hate corrections
Everybody makes mistakes including you, and this is a fact you’ve to accept to build a healthy relationship.
There are some people that love pointing out people’s mistakes but they will never accept corrections.
If this is a habit you have, you need to get rid of it.
In a relationship, you will get hurt and also hurt someone else’s feelings.
If you can’t accept this truth, you can’t build a long-lasting relationship.
(c). You can’t even build an unhealthy relationship
This is not strange at all.
A lot of people struggle with self-esteem issues, inferiority complex, etc…
And these mental conditions affect their relationship-building capacity.
It’s possible that you tried to make friends when you were younger but everyone made fun of you.
This can lead to trauma and affect your life forever.
- Do you struggle to make friends?
- Are you scared to say hi because you believe everyone will ignore you?
Then you need to fix this before you move ahead to build a healthy relationship.
How can you do this?
The first step is always the hardest step, three letter words – try!
Nothing is going to change unless you give it a trial. You need to prepare mentally for your first step by…
- Reading books(how to win friends and influence people- Dale Carnegie)
- The mirror practice – practice the words you want to say in front of your mirror.
- Say a prayer- this always helps.
Now, that you know the cause of your sick relationships, it’s time to learn how to build a healthy one.
5 easy tips to build a healthy relationship
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Love like Cinderella and prince charming
You cannot build a healthy relationship no matter the kind without sincere love.
Love brings understanding and it covers multiple weaknesses.
When you love someone, you find it difficult to put out fault in them- this is good but it can be bad too.
To love someone like prince charming is to accept them for who they are even when they run away from you.
This has nothing to do with butterflies in your stomach and has a lot to do with genuine care and affection for the individual(s).
Friendships built on this kind of love can last different seasons of fights and quarrels because their foundation is rooted in something deeper than events.
It’s rare to find this kind of friendship nowadays…
Now, it’s more about a friendship of convenience;
- what can she do for me?
- what do you offer?
- How can you help my career or business?
These are the kinds of friendships that exist now!
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Learn to observe repeated patterns and reactions
This is an underrated skill, it can save you from a lifetime of avoidable stress and worry.
The best set of people to learn this skill from is introverts.
Introverts are quiet, observant, and analytical, they think faster than they talk.
They watch people like hawks(…not in the creepy stalkerish way), and they observe how people react to what they say or do…
And because they hate confrontations, they think carefully about their actions and the resultant effect.
Sounds like a lot of work right?
It is! But it’s simple to achieve with these steps…
(i). Watch what you say and how your friend or spouse reacts to it- if it is positive do more but if it’s negative, quit it.
(ii). Identify characters your partner/friend exhibit that you don’t like – talk to them about it.
(iii). It’s okay to anticipate or assume an action but never conclude it’s the reality until you’ve experienced it more than once.
Follow these 3 steps to build a healthy relationship.
- If you can’t communicate? It won’t work
Show me a healthy relationship and I’ll show you a person or group of people with a strong communication system.
Here’s the honest truth…
Humans aren’t magicians or psychics, most people can’t tell when you’re hurting unless you tell them.
If you have an assumption about your friend/partner, take a deep breath, get your facts straight, and have a conversation.
I don’t want a fight or I’m not in the mood for a quarrel right now…has led to the death of so many relationships.
To build a healthy relationship, you need to find the mood to have a conversation- don’t run away from it.
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Don’t be a tight-fist stingy friend
A Wiseman once said, ” you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.”
How can you say you love someone but never do something nice or get a little random present for your loved one?
It shouldn’t only be on birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmas.
Go out of your way to make your loved one feel special- from the little notes to small presents and bigger plans like a vacation.
You can’t be stingy and expect a healthy relationship!
- Give’em the benefit of a doubt
Hey! That was a one-time mistake, why not give them a second chance?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to break your principles and compromise your morals.
All I’m saying is…if it’s a little mistake why not consider fixing it instead of calling it quits?
You shouldn’t be so quick to end your relationship because of a little issue.
Most of the healthiest relationships have gone through the nastiest fights and quarrels, but they always find a way to forgive themselves and move on.
It might be hard, but if it’s worth a fighting chance, go for it.
Conclusion
No one is going to build a healthy relationship for you, you’ve to do it yourself.
You will cry, smile, get hurt, enjoy fun times, hate on each other, fall in love again, and most importantly…
You’ll learn!
