4 negative effects of an inability to control the tongue
Have you ever spent a few minutes or hours asking yourself this simple question; what does it mean to control the tongue? If you haven’t, that’s fine, however, I do it almost every day. I am really curious about this concept “control the tongue”
To control the tongue simply means to put a leash over your tongue. In other words, it means the ability to watch or monitor what you say and how you say it.
The bible tells us that the tongue is one of the smallest parts of the body but it is capable of causing havoc.
Now the big question is how? How can the tiny tongue that is actually shielded by the mouth cause a catastrophe?
As Christians, we should be aware that most times the bible is not literal. Intending to aid our understanding, the bible mostly represents some concepts with relatable examples.
In the case of “control the tongue” what the bible actually means is “control your words”
The tongue is closely related to speech; therefore, the bible chose this technique to explain the concept of controlling the tongue.
Literally, it is hard to control the tongue. However, when we think of controlling what we say, how we say it, it looks more achievable.
What causes an inability to control the tongue?
There are so many things that can lead to failure in controlling one’s tongue. Let’s look at three diverse reasons that usually cause people to lose and forget to control their tongue.
At the end of this section, we will clearly see if the inability to control the tongue is a justifiable act.
Anger is one of the major reasons that lead to an inability to control the tongue.
In the most literal or layman sense, anger is simply short madness. An angry person is someone who can commit and say unimaginable things.
I won’t say all forms of anger are the same, however, anger is an emotion that can cause people to do things they won’t normally do.
When something is not normal, it is abnormal right?
I have seen a situation where the angered person was quarreling and saying a lot of hurtful things without control. It got to the point where the person made a statement that was shocking to everyone including themselves.
Have you ever gotten angry? Did you do or say something that you regret? Let’s talk about anger in the comment section below.
There is a popular saying that “hurt people hurt people”
If this is really true, I can’t really say for sure. However, I can confidently say that I have seen so many hurt people seek to revenge or hurt someone else.
When someone hurts us with words or actions especially in the presence of someone else, our pride, ego, or confidence takes a huge blow.
In most cases, this fosters the inability to control the tongue.
At this point, your brain repeats one-word “revenge”
I have been hurt a lot of time and most times I feel this need to revenge with my words and actions.
Truthfully, I do this sometimes!
It is a negative cycle that we need the Holy spirit’s help to change.
Nothing makes people lose their ability to control the tongue like hatred. “Hate is a very strong emotion to feel towards another human being”
If you hate someone, it is really hard to control your words (mostly negative).
The truth is most people see hatred as a good validation to say anything. The bible tells us that he that hates his brother is a murderer, the bible couldn’t be more right.
If you hate someone you can continually kill them with your words, actions, and probably in your mind.
As Christians we are called to love God, but how can we love God that we haven’t seen when we hate the people we can see.
Negative effects of the inability to control the tongue
If the bible warns us about something, it definitely means that God is looking out for us. God doesn’t want us to get hurt or hurt others even though most times it is inevitable.
Controlling your tongue saves you from unnecessary stress, drama, and unexplainable negative situations.
Inflict permanent scars on people
When you control the tongue, it can save you from a lifetime of regrets.
A wise man once said that the words we speak are like nails you hit into the wall. You can remove the nail from the wall however, the hole remains on the wall.
When you lack the ability to control the tongue, you can say really hurtful and demeaning things. No matter how much you try to apologize to the person, you will leave a scar that may never heal.
Whenever the person sees you, the scar might bleed again.
Physical harm or death
The things people say to us can replay 100 times in few minutes in our heads. This is not good at all as people that aren’t very resilient might further hurt themselves.
I have heard several cases where someone commits suicide or attempts it because of a hurtful word.
If someone hurt themself because of what you said or even attempts. You might end up leaving a life full of regrets and abundant guilt.
The short duration of life and its daily stress is enough to challenge to live with. Adding guilt and regrets to the picture will leave you sad all the time.
There is a popular world saying that “karma is a b***h, especially when served cold. We are humans and of course, it feels really good when we see people that hurt us get hurt too.
However, the truth is it does not change anything, it only births a ruthless and sick game that will leave both parties hurt.
The Bible further explains this “karma concept” by telling us “That revenge is of the lord’s, he will do the avenging at the right time”
Serving karma, yourself is like using a boomerang, it will return to you.
Fosters a chain of hurt
Inability to control the tongue can lead to an overwhelming and destructive chain of hurt.
For instance, if your words cut someone so deeply that they commit suicide. It will affect their entire family members.
If the person is an only child well, I’m certain that his/her parents will be heartbroken. In the worst-case scenario, the child’s favorite parent might fall ill and might never recover till they die.
The cycle can get worse than this.
Logically you didn’t kill any of these people however, your words were the bullet, they just helped you pull the trigger.
How to control your tongue
This is the most important way to control the tongue, you need to control yourself to control the tongue.
That voice in your head that is constantly saying “revenge” needs to be shut. Target that voice and ensure that you give enough reasons why you shouldn’t revenge.
I’m not saying that you can’t stand up for yourself in an argument. I’m simply saying you should watch what you say to people while having a misunderstanding.
Try really hard to avoid returning harsh words, it is so much better to excuse yourself and leave the confrontation.
However, if you make the mistake of using harsh words on people in an argument, try to apologize to the person.
“I’m sorry” is not a magical eraser but it is a starting point.
Saying sorry does not heal the scar, however, if the person doesn’t hurt themselves. You have the rest of your life to replace that bad moment with sweet and beautiful memories.
Ask the holy spirit for help
The psalmist says, “I will lift my eyes up to the hill where my help comes from”
As Christians when we get to a crossroads with no idea on where next to go or what to do. We must seek the holy spirit’s guidance.
He is ever ready to help us, we just need to ask and let him lead us.
The holy spirit will not only direct you, but he will teach you how to handle difficult confrontations and arguments.
If you can control the tongue, you have a huge power that most people do not. So many people have a hard time controlling themselves when they are hurt or angry.
Learning to control your words can save you from things you have absolutely no idea about.
I’m sorry if someone uses harsh and unforgiven words on you. I really wish I can do something about it but there’s not much I can do.
This prayer for is you
“I pray that you find peace, love, joy, and positive friendship from expected and unexpected sources. May light shine so brightly through that wound and cause healing”