Have you ever wondered if your family affects who you are? Or perhaps your life would be different if you were from another family?
The answer to both questions is yes!
Your life will be different with another family – however, you can’t tell if it would be different in a good or bad way.
As a child, you are born into this world with zero knowledge of how the world works.
Your parents and family members are responsible for the first education you receive.
They shape your view of the world, you understand the world through their words, action,
and reactions.
You see the world through the eyes of your family and that first view of the world can affect your life for a long time.
Every family has principles that each member must live by, some families are strict about their principles – you must live by them or leave the family.
As you grow up and experience the world from your perspective, your values might clash with your family and you may decide to break out.
Most families don’t accept change so you might lose your family with this decision.
You are part of your family
You can hate your family or the experience you had with them but here’s a simple truth…
They are part of you!
Hating your family doesn’t fix the bad experiences nor does it get rid of the good memories you share.
It’s the strongest love-hate relationship in the world.
The bond you share with your family is strong that’s why some people still feel sad when they lose a parent that was harsh and wicked to you.
Most of the traits you hate about your family are inherently part of you- it takes a high level of conscious effort to avoid repeating the same pattern.
It’s not uncommon to see children who hate their parent’s pattern of training repeating the same process with their kids.
That’s the only way you know!
You hate their pattern, but your hate did not motivate you to learn a different method for the sake of your kids.
Now, you’re doing those things you claim to hate.
It doesn’t have to be this way, keep reading to fix how your family affects who are you.
Family upbringing affects mental health
it’s true that most people who suffer from mental challenges have bad experiences that can be traced to traumatic experiences as kids.
That’s strange right?
Your family that’s supposed to love, support, and treasure you is now responsible for the hurt you experience as an adult.
The easiest option is to hate your family- but it doesn’t fix anything.
And there’s a saying that…
“You become what you hate and think about all day”
The most frustrating part is, that the people you are hating don’t even understand what they’ve done wrong- they believe that everything they did was for your good.
After suffering alone as a child, you’re still suffering as an adult- it’s about time you stop sulking and fix your life for yourself and your own family.
You can be different from your family’s history
It’s possible to break the status quo and do differently from what you received.
This is not an easy feat to achieve, it’s a path filled with a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows.
It takes time and requires a high degree of patience.
You can’t escape the hard work it takes to change your mindset, fixes your life, and changes the way your family affects your life- a mindset switch is important.
Why?
Because your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions and your action becomes your lifestyle.
Your family shaped your mindset to what it is now, so to break out of the negative status quo, you must change your mindset.
And the first way to do that is to forgive.
A lot of you don’t want to hear the word “forgiveness” it gives you a migraine when you try to think about it.
You can’t imagine forgiving them for all the things they’ve made you suffer… they should suffer for every tear you shed.
With the strong amount of hate directed at your family- you can notice that they still have a strong influence on your life.
You’ve to forgive to activate your break-out process.
That’s the first step you have to take.
No, you don’t have to see them forgive them.
Do this,
Find a quiet spot in your house, and get pictures of your family members, especially those you love.
Bawl your eyes out remembering all the memories, smile at the happy memories, and weep at the bad and painful ones.
Decide to forgive them for all the pain and hurt you’ve felt.
4 steps to control how your family affects who you are
Every family affects the life of ttps://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-articles/how-your-family-relationships-influence-your, it can be positive or negative -what matters is how you control this influence.
As a child, you may not be able to do anything other than cry and wish for everything to end.
But as a teen or an adult you can control how your family affects who you are. These four steps will help you control your family’s influence and become a better person.
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Passion
Replace the hate you’ve for your family with a strong passion to break out of the status quo.
Passion is a force strong enough to keep you going even when you feel like giving up it reminds you of the reason you started and why you can’t stop halfway.
Your passion to change your life is not enough to control how your family affects who you are, but it is an important first step.
How?
You are driven to make a difference rather than hating and becoming the people you hate.
It keeps you focused and aware- whenever you exhibit characters similar to what you fighting against, it reminds you.
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A game plan
A dream without a plan is a wish!
If you want something, you must be ready to go for it, and making plans is a step you can’t miss.
Most people don’t make plans because they believe it’s too complex.
But that’s not true!
A plan is simply a proposed step-by-step that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.
It’s not a guarantee that everything will work according to your plan but you can measure your goals with every step you take.
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Consistency
Writing down your plans is a good step but you won’t achieve anything substantial if you’re not consistent.
If reading self-help books twice a day is part of your plan but you keep procrastinating, you won’t achieve any goal.
Set your goal and be willing to stay consistent to achieve your goals.
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Resilience
You’re going to face opposition when you try to stand out and do things differently.
Your family may be your greatest opposition, but they will do lots of things to make you quit or discard your passion.
But don’t give in!
You need to be strong enough to fight for what you believe in, don’t let challenges stop you from achieving everything you want.
Conclusion
It’s a fact that your family affects who you are positively and negatively.
The truth is that you cannot choose your family, nature decides for you.
But you might be the messiah that your family needs to correct a truckload of errors.
To achieve that, you have to work on your mindset, persevere, and stay consistent.
It will not be easy but it’s achievable.
