Have you ever met someone who for some “unexplainable reason” you don’t want to leave their company? Not a close family member or partner perhaps a distant relative or a colleague you met at work that everyone gravitates to?
There’s something about their personality that screams safe space and you long to be in their company? If you have met people like that and wondered what it is about them – it’s simple, they have a beautiful personality.
Just like the name connotes it’s a personality that brings admiration, stares and of course fans.
We see them everywhere from movies to colleagues at work, your favorite homeroom teacher, the principal you can’t seem to forget, your first friend from college and the lady at the coffee store that somehow became your wife…the list is endless!
The way they view the world makes you wonder if they fell from the skies, their listening ability is top-notch and the utmost respect and dedication they show in everything they do is applaudable.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a good personality that draws people in? You are about to find out all their beautiful secrets in the next sections.
The tiny little secret of a beautiful personality
Will you wear a dirty piece of unrefined gold? Of course not! You will collect the gold, safeguard it until you find an expert who can transform your unrefined gold to a marketable piece.
This is the tiny secret of the people with a beautiful personality.
For most, it was not always like that, they had to face the refiner’s fire to become the person of attraction you see or you are drawn too.
They had to work hard and long to fix issues that most of us are scared to do, they looked inside to find themselves both good and bad. They accepted what they couldn’t fix, fixed what they couldn’t accept and choose to love themselves with a topmost priority.
The secret of a true beautiful personality is self-love.
“True” because there might be cases where people pretend to have a goodly personality to avoid drama. They people please and do everything everyone says but cry themselves to sleep every night, that’s not beautiful.
A beautiful personality has great power but it cannot be tapped when you struggle with self-hate and rejection.
3 easy but intentional ways to develop a beautiful personality
The word “easy” may sound misleading but it’s not!
Building a beautiful personality is the simplest thing to do but we complicate it because we avoid the truth. To build a beautiful personality, you have to perfect the act of being “You” simple right? It’s funny how we have to unlearn and relearn the act of being ourselves when it should be a natural as breathing.
The people you admire with a beautiful personality are individuals who have perfected the act of being themselves with little cares to what people or the world thinks about it.
You can do the same if you consistently apply these 3 steps:
1. Find you
The world has always been noisy but with the rise of social media and podcasts, everybody seems to have an opinion about everything from choice of clothes to s communication styles, people you hang out hangout with and other aspects of life.
We uphold others standards and redefine our lives based on people’s judgements and opinions.
The first step to building a great personality is to quiet the noise and find yourself. It will take a while to do this but you cannot move further in your journey without completing this task.
How to find yourself in a noisy world
a. The first step was repeated continuously in the animation “frozen”, let it go.
You have to let go of everything that steals your peace.
This is a challenging experience because initially it comes with intense peace but subsequently, it is replaced by emptiness, longing and in extreme cases anxiety.
Don’t give in, it’s the fear talking.
In this stage, you have to unfollow pages that make you feel unworthy, podcasts that makes you compare your life with others, books, influencers, celebrities, music, friends, family members, partners, a job that makes you feel undeserving and less of yourself – you have to let them go.
P.S be careful with letting go of the job, unless you have a good enough savings to keep you afloat it’s best to hold on while searching for another one.
b. Listening to yourself is a huge deal for lots of people especially someone who always follow the trends, it becomes difficult to hear yourself but try.
This is the time to get real, you can be petty or a crybaby that’s okay but you have to communicate.
Ask questions like
- How did I get here?
- What have I done to me?
- When did everything get so bad?
- Why did I put up with that?
There are so many questions to ask based on what you know about yourself, truths you’ve been trying to push down, lies you have accepted, hurt and resentment you’ve been hiding for years.
If you can’t handle these realities, get professional help from a therapist.
c. Retrospect and patterns: Based on the truths realized from your listening sessions you need to identify repeating patterns.
This gives you clarity on your flaws, what you can correct and things you were 100% not responsible for.
- Accept you: You may hate you but that’s not the way to go.
To move past this, you have to forgive and accept you, acknowledge your errors, apologize to your younger age and began the continuous journey of falling in love with you.
- Love you: Doesn’t it sound strange when people claim to love others but never themselves?
How can you truly love others when you don’t love yourself? It doesn’t sound right.
We can love, admire and even idolize people but does that mean we love them?
What does love mean to you and if you can’t treat yourself with your understanding of what love is, you can never truly have a beautiful personality.
One striking trait of someone with great personality is their decision to love themselves flaws, strengths, weaknesses, bad decisions and more.
The truth is when you choose to love yourself, you understand how important it is to treat others right. It doesn’t feel fake, it flows freely because that’s who you are.
You are not Santa Claus to everyone else and Grinch to yourself, there’s a balanced understanding of who you are that doesn’t switch when you are by yourself or in a group.
How to love yourself
i. Start with the tiniest details: Begin the slow but consistent journey of self-love.
Of course, the major work is internal but what if you can change certain things you hate by taking actions that fix them instead of worsen it?
You can change your wardrobe, hit the gym, start a skincare routine, switch your hairstyle, learn to use makeup and much more.
Incorporating these little changes to your daily routine can begin your progressive journey of selflove.
ii. Shut that voice down: If there’s a tiny voice in your head that’s always shutting you down, humiliating you with past memories and imaginations of terrible things that will have happen because you don’t deserve any good thing.
You have to learn to shut that voice down!
Imagine this; there’s a white canvas in front of you and you are asked to paint whatever you like; you can choose to paint sunrise or night, right? it’s a choice you made.
That’s how it is in your head, every day you live you have the choice to believe for good and bad things too. It’s a blank canvas why should you always choose nighttime when you can get sunlight too?
2. Forgive “you”
Guilt kills! It destroys dreams, lives and beautiful futures, you don’t have to become its next victim. You have been beating yourself up over that mistake that happened 10 years ago and you wonder why you can’t sleep at night?
You deserve peace and there’s no peace in a place without love.
What did you do? It’s time to face it?
- If you hurt someone – apologize,
- If you caused an unforgettable pain for someone, forgive yourself, send a letter of apology to them or loved one,
- If you have been running – return home, face the consequences of your action
- If you can’t do this alone, seek help from a professional therapist.
- Be you
No one is perfect not even you!
You are a work of art, a rare piece displayed only to the 1%, you are worthy of love, acceptance and good things. Don’t walk into a room wondering if they would like you, the question should be “will I like them”?
Once you understand the value you bring as a person, a true, loving version of yourself, you limit who comes into your space. The best person you can be is you, so find, love and be you.
Takeaway
Building a beautiful personality is the easiest and hardest thing to do. It is the act of being yourself, an ability to love, respect and care for others because you do the same for yourself.
Loving you is the key to building that amazing personality you admire. Give it a trial and you will never regret betting on you.
