The underestimated power of gifting in relationships
How do you feel when someone gives you a gift on a special event? For example, birthdays, anniversary, wedding or graduation?
How about when someone surprises you with a gift on a regular day?
The feeling is priceless, you feel excited, joyous and overwhelmed with so much love and affection.
This is definitely how I feel when I receive unexpected surprises.
I don’t know about you but I think surprises makes a lot of people feel special.
As busy as we all are, when we receive an unexpected surprise, it fills us with joy and makes us feel appreciated.
The thought in the receiver’s mind is;
“I can’t believe that he/she will create time from their busy schedule to think of me”
Now this is how powerful gifting is. It places you in the heart of people specifically in a special part.
A lot of people have discovered how powerful gifting is, and are using it negatively.
How? You might ask.
So many people use gifts as a form of bribe or to get away from certain orderly procedures.
Gifting is also used as a tool to promote or eliminate the correct use of justice.
As we progress, we will talk more about the negative ways people use gifts in relationship.
What is gifting
Gifting is simply the act of sharing or surprising an individual with money or other items. Always remember that these items should be beneficial, relevant and thoughtful.
For a gift to be appreciated, it doesn’t not have to be the most expensive item neither does it have to be the cheapest item.
It can simply be a present or specific need your spouse is seeking for and you surprise them by getting it.
Kinds of gift
There are 3 major classes of gifts you can give your partner, family member or friends. They include;
- Physical item
A lot of people value items that are tangible. If you give them money to purchase an item, they will be very grateful. However, its not comparable with when you purchase a gift for them.
Individuals who love physical items such as clothes, shoes, jewelleries, electronic gadgets or any other thoughtful presents or products.
They believe that when you give them money, they may use it for another pressing need and forget all about the gift they need to buy.
Honestly, I will really appreciate a physical item more than money.
- Money
Giving out money to your loved ones is another form of gifting. You do not necessarily have to ask them for their account number in order to send them money.
You can give them money in an indirect form. For instance;
- You can pay for their lunch, dinner or breakfast.
- Pay for their groceries
- Pay for their utility bill
- Take them shopping
Most times people feel self-conscious when you send them money. They claim to have no need for it; therefore, the appropriate way will be to pay for certain things they need.
- Emotional gift
Do you have a family or friend that’s always complaining about your overly busy schedule? Indirectly, they are asking you for the gift of your time.
If you haven’t heard:
“Time is the most expensive thing in the world”
Giving someone your time is actually a gift. It shows them that you value them enough to reserve a space for them.
Time is one of the greatest investments you can give in a relationship. Hence, it has a very great risk rate because the market is very volatile.
4 overwhelming powers of gifting
Is gifting powerful?
I don’t know what you think about this, personally I think gifting is very powerful. Let’s look at how powerful gifting is, then you can make a decision.
- Gifting breeds healing
Most relationship fails because both parties involved refuse to listen or show care. However, when one partner chooses to make that bold step by presenting an emotional gift.
This can be a starting point for a conversation and a tool towards a generalized healing of the relationship.
Physical gifts can also be used to soften the road towards forgiveness; however, most people use it wrongly.
Negative use of the power of gifting for healing
Giving someone money or purchasing really expensive items is not bad. However, it does not actually erase a wrong done.
What is the motive behind the gift, will you also apologize and make amends? Or do you believe that everyone is materialistic and gifts will always make the issue fade away.
It might work in certain cases, however what if it becomes part of you and find it really difficult to render a sincere apology.
While gifting can soften the road to healing. Always remember that a proper apology must accompany any form of gift.
- It is favour oriented
Most people refer to this as partiality. However, there is a thin line between favouritism and favour based on sincere love and admiration.
When you give someone a position or recommendation because you are familiar with the individual, that is favouritism.
On the other hand, if you surprise an individual with either of the third major gifts. They also remember it whenever an opportunity presents itself.
In some cases, you might be a novice, however they will be willing to go the extra mile to help you whenever they can.
Negative use
Are you fond of gifting your friends or partner whenever you want to make a request? If yes!
You are simply misusing the power of gifting as a tool to get what you want. In an advanced form, this is selfishness. You do not really care about the individual; you are simply using them to get what you want.
Most people refer to this as a win-win situation. Is it really?
How do you think the individual will feel when they find out the truth?
- Gifts are a source of energy
Have you recently given anyone a gift? If you haven’t, do so and watch their response to you.
They naturally gravitate to you; they pay closer attention and are willing to do only things that makes you happy.
The simple act of gifting can be the spice that might ignite that relationship that is close to a burnout.
Negative use
A lot of people have discovered this amazing power of gifting. Therefore, they are using it to control people especially materialistic people.
Watch out for those friends that always give you a gift whenever you have an argument. They may be trying to control your deciding power without your knowledge.
- Lifetime impacts/lasting relationships
Show me a lasting relationship And I will show you individuals that maximizes the full power of gifting.
There are some relationships that were built with a very simple gift. For example, offering to pay for a stranger’s food and transport can lead to longstanding friendships, I have seen this happen a lot.
Learn to offer help to people including strangers when you can. Your gifts can go a long way to help you in the nearest future.
Conclusion
The power of gifting in relationships cannot be overly emphasized, there are a lot of positive benefits you can reap when you learn to gift people.
Gifting should not be limited to your friends and families. Extend to your work colleagues, mentors, boss and even strangers.
The power of gifting is a very effective tool that can bring about a tremendous boost in our relationships.
